Sunday, April 24, 2016

My pocket lint on the designated bathroom uproar.

Oh that's nice you identify as a woman/Trans/Pony!
I self identify as a Glock 19 (or 1911 choose your flavor)
Your play snowflake!

Your mother self identifies as a hamster and your father was an alcoholic with bestiality tendencies. Have you retreated back to your safe space and curled up in a corner, or shall I taunt you a second time?


C1: He makes a comment about wanting to be a ninja.
Me: So that would make you silent and invisible... OK! That works for me!

The fire department had to be called for the burn.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

CUBEVILLE Boss edition.

Coworker to my right likes to lean back in his swivel chair. Manager's boss walks by and said:

"You are right at the level I can sit on your face."

And he wasn't kidding. He had no idea of the "other" meaning of what he just said.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Cubeville twofer

C1 *twirling around a nerf blaster* *it goes off sending a dart across the room*
C1; And that is what we call a negligent discharge.
Me: Yup....

C2: *Makes a silly comment*
C2: He's going to hit me
C2: PLEASE don't hit me...

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Rule of 3 for the Hollidays!

That's all just well enough because in reality there is only room enough for three HOs. Three shall be the number of HOs and the number of HOs shall be three. Four HOs is too many, and two is insufficient. So the only HOs there is shall be three and being the HOS which there are three shall be:



Coworker 1 and 2 are pulling various food out of their desk drawers
1:I got soup
2:I got peanut butter cup trees (this goes on for a few minutes)
1:I got tea
1:Yah I brought it in before I found out the company provided teabags
2:*made obvious teabag joke while leaning back in his chair thinking he won*
me: *walks over and hits him in the face with a cold soggy teabag*


Tuesday, December 1, 2015

On the first day of December the Girlfriend gave to me!

I really did not intend to make the blog all about my exploration of adult beverages. But in true "Yup...that's my gal" form the lovely girlfriend sprung an early Christmas gift on me. She's has gotten me one of these:
Picture courtesy Master of Malt

Yup I have 24 small bottles of Bourbon to enjoy. Might make the holidays a bit more bearable.
Each is 30ml, that's about a shot's worth of goodness. For comparison an airline minibottle is 50ml
For details on what types are included check out their webpage. There are also different types ranging from
Vodka all the way to the old and rare whiskey calendar. Just be warned about the sticker shock on that one WHEW!

So she can share in the fun...she got herself the scotch version! (And thus preempting a gift idea.